RIP Captain Noah Mitchell

I feel like I need to say a few words for one of the people that I wrote with. Chris - an American, was someone I met on one of the Trek Sims I play. He was a lovely lad, full of inspiration and a passion for writing. I followed him to the Archimedes Sim purely because he asked me too and he was a joy to write with.

Chris was one of those rare people who made time for you. Talked with you and listened too your idea's. He wasn't a power-monger - yes they do exist in the trek online Sim world! He was genieune. 

It is with a sad heart that I found out today he had passed on. Chris has spent the last year or so battling cancer. I'm not sure what that means for the Sim yet. I think his brother will take over but we have to keep it alive in Chris's memory.

My own personal belief is you do not die. So for me I can take some comfort in those beliefs that Chris like Danny and my Aunty who we also lost to cancer is now in peace and gone forward for the next great adventure.

My love and prayers go out to his family. Captain - thank you for the good times and the memories. You will be missed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

How many files!!!!!!

So one of the main reasons for updating my "rigg" was so that I would be able to play GW2. I had many many many happy hours playing GW1 and have some mates - both online and in RL lol playing. I have the PC now, I bought the game and I d/l the beta client. My god though how many files and updates. I d/l everything again monday. All day it took.

Mark at work then says to me weds you need to do it again there was a big update. I said I did it monday. Okay he says its a small one then. Shouldn't take long. No just another 4 hours!!!!!!

I shouldn't be whining as it just means areanet are doing everything they can to make this game as good as they can make it. I am sure when I finally manage to log in this evening and create my original characters great great great great great grandaughter and step into the starting area all of this will be forgotten. Just have to get through an entire day at work now . . . . . .

The white queen

So I made a promise to myself this year that I would read more. This came out of a comment my sister made about  how I used to always read and well I did growing up. I'm not sure when I stopped reading as much but I decided to address it. I also decided that I needed to read different things. I love science fiction - have about a billion star trek novels and I love kind of your adventure almost Indiana Jones type stories. But I need to widen my horizons.

Anyway Waterstones was doing one of its buy 2 get the 3rd half price things and I picked up a book for work, a book I had been wanting by Iain Banks and took a chance on one called the white queen. This was about October time last year. It was the story of Elizabeth - wife of Edward during the time of the war of the roses. Not my normal cup of tea. Or so I thought. Yes its taken me over 6 months to get to it but once I started it was fascinating.

In fact I really enjoyed it. The author Philippa Gregory does an excellent job bringing Elizabeth's story to life. So much so that there was a taster chapter of her next book - the white princess - Elizabeth's daughters story that the end of the White queen sets you up for. So I have to read that too.

However Waterstones informed me its still in production. But what I wasn't aware of was there is a series - its called the cousins war. And the first book is called the lady of the rivers. So I picked that up yesterday for £5.99. And this is the story of Elizabeth (the white queens mother) - there is also a red queen one which I presume is the story of the Lancashire queen.

Here is the link  to the authors website:

http://www.philippagregory.com/

I'll let you know how it goes.

In order news I had my favorite Geordie down this weekend with Mr Chaney. They came down for the Mumford and Sons concert. We didn't get much time together but we did get to go for a nice Sunday lunch yesterday and I got to practice my tarot skills on them. Thanks guys Xx

All going wrong .....

Well you have to keep laughing right!!!

In the last couple of months my Vac has died, had to spend £120 quid on a new one. Then my microwave died. Another £40.00. Then I had planned this year to get a new PC. £700 quid.

And then last week my cooker blew up. Luckily for me Helen at work knew what had happened and her chap very kindly came and looked it over tonight. Its just the element. Thank god! If I had to fork another £300 out on another cooker I would be rather miserable.

But they say bad luck comes in threes. So that's me done now. Bring on the good luck to balance everything out!!!!

Lets be honest . . . .

Who here has had a crush on a character in a computer game?

Come on don't deny it. Boys I'm sure you have drooled over Lara Croft or the bird from resident evil.

Well I'll be honest. Of course I loved Cloud Strife. Poor tormented Cloud from FF7. But I think my first real computer game crush was Cliff fitter from Star ocean. Now I have a new one.

As you know, I am ALWAYS about 3 years behind everyone in games and films etc etc. A couple of weeks ago in one of those 2nd hand buy used game shops that seem to be popping up everywhere in the Hudd I took a chance and purchased a game called Dragon Age - Origins.

Oh boy, suddenly I was hooked. Unfortunately my 2nd hand Xbox copy has some weird glitch thing going on. When ever I get to a certain mission, it suddenly won't come out of combat mode and I cannot pass any further.

The good news is you can get it on PC!!!!! Woooo. And now I have PC thats powerful enough to cope with something better than ermmm . . . . . . settlers from about 7 years ago it HAS TO BE DONE!!!!!

So I order not just dragon age Origins last night but the deluxe set - with all the add ones. Get in!!!!!

However I'm going off the point. My new computer game crush. Alistair. OMG ladies. Is he dishy or what? And I love his jokes, his personality, his voice. Bloody hell Bio-ware I salute you in the creation of this dream boat!

The games pretty dam good too. I created a female elf mage. She became a grey warden. Then she was questing to get 4 parties to help her fight a blight (big bad war).  And she was starting to get it on with Alistair. How you interact with the characters determines the events. I'm loving that too. Some things you do upset some of your team and somethings make others happy.

Anyhoo, I was on route to Redcliffe ready to clear out a bunch of the baddies - darkspawn to you and me and Alistair has a conversation with me - he is actually a royal bastard LOL his father was the king.

I then went to get aid from the Elves and bam he starts a convo with me and gives me a rose. Yes please!!! So my romance was coming on quite swimmingly until that bloody mission!!!!!!

I cannot wait till my new PC copy comes to complete this game.

Yes yes yes I know. I'M SUCH A FANGIRL!!!!!!

New PC

Well I finally did it and bought myself a new computer. I am going to be paying back money forever but its worth it. My other one was knackered and 10 years old. It was slow and horrible. I am now on windows 7 with a fairly decent rig ready for Guild Wars 2 when it comes out.

This morning I pre-purchased the game and am currently down loading the beta which is HUGE! Been going half and hour and we are only at 10%. Madness! But exciting. I got many many many awesome hours of game play out of Guild Wars 1 so am really looking forward to the sequel.

As usual Yoda from work has told me everything I need and I got to putting it all on Thursday night. My sweet new graphics card makes the Sims 3 look like a whole new world. Unfortunately though I am experiencing some freezing with the base game. No idea why. When I look on the forums it seems there can be some issues with Windows 7.  I'll have a play around with the graphics and put on a couple more games and see if its just the Sims being buggy. Fingers crossed I can find a fix as aside from GW2 the Sims 3 was the main reasons I wanted the new PC.

In other news, my kitchen is slowly happening. My mate Cheles mate Andy very very kindly came round and got all the crap round the windows I couldn't with the steamer and then did my ceiling for me. I still have to scrap a few odd bits of wet paper that stuck up but I'm not at the point where Steveo can come round and tell me whats next with a view to skimming everything and making it all pretty and then ready to paint.

I really hate DIY. I mean I started this at Xmas. We are nearly in June. I really am bad at DIY. But I have to keep telling myself it will look awesome when its finally done and add value to the flat. Which I need considering when I last had it appraised, the Halifax valued it 5k below what I bought it for. Not inpressed. I have spent 4 years overpaying and by my Martin Lewis spreadsheet calculations that meant I had got it 90% loan to view this month, only for them to do that and refuse to offer me another mortgage product.

Hehe we just got to 12%. I'm going to have to leave this running while me and my brother take gran for her weekly shop. Okay so now I am back up and running properly time to get blogging properly again. Until next time, peace out!

Battleship

So I am just freshly back from the cinema having seen Battleship. I was a bit dubious, firstly it was Rhianna's acting debut and secondly I had horrible visions of it being a little starship troopers like. However I was swayed to view it on account of Alexander Skarsguard having a part.

It was kind of like transformers meets independence day meets top gun. I enjoyed it. Rhianna actually didn't suck. She held her own. The main guy was pretty hot. Alexander in miltary uniform was more hot. I mean hubba hubba hubba. But they killed him off early in!!!!!!!! If I may quote my friend Jac - "Dam it all to hell!"

All in all some pretty snazzy action sequences, some pretty unrealistic aliens yet a highly decent soundtrack - loved the montage of getting the old battleship working again set to ACDC.

Droolable men I would give it a 7.5. Losses points for killing off Alex.
Plot - ahhhhh 5. Hated the end, way too much american cheese with Liam Nieson suggesting a burrito with the main bloke. No continuity tying up what happened with the aliens. Hell there must have been some survivors. A surrender would have been nice. I suppose they are leaving it open in case they do a sequel.
Special effects - 8.0
Locations - 10.00 come on Hawaii and Hong Kong. Very cool.

The Tarot

So yesterday I did a Tarot card workshop. I now know how to do a basic tarot reading. I need to memorise alot of the card meanings and practice alot on other people to get my skill going. I found the course really enjoyable. A lady called Nanette who lives quite close to me ran it at her house. Her house was amazing. Nanette is a white witch - So what I saw of her house was full of pagan decorations and herbs. She was a lovely lady - very welcoming, very beautful both on the outside and the in. I found her to be a very good teacher, to the point where I am already wanting to do her psychic development course next and excellent baker. (Nanette put on some lovely food for us and allowed me to bring home some banana bread) I must learn how to make Banana bread.

For anyone who has not heard of the Tarot heres a little back ground from the stuff I got in my pack yesterday.

History
While many clain that the Tarot has an ancient beginning, the cards as we recognise them today have their roots in medieval Italy. One of the oldest surviving tarot decks is the Visconti -Sforza, designed and painted for the influential Italian novle familites of the same name. These hand painted cards were fundamentally playing cards and comprised of four suits, one set of trumps, with a special trump card called the fool. The fact that the modern pack owes much of its development over the centuaries to the humble playing card is a subtle fact that should not be forgotten. While it is not unreasonable to assume that the "tarocchi" as it came to be known was used to some extent for divination purposes, it wasn't until the work of French occultist Antoin Court de Geblin tha the Tarot become known for its esoteric content. Without any historical  research, Court asserted that the Tarot was a vessel in which ancient Egyptian widsom had survived over centuaries, waiting to be decoded by those willin and able enough to do so. To Court, the Tarot was nothing less than the fabled book of Thoth. Whatever one thinks of Court's thoughts they represent the basis for the mystery and percieved wisdom of the Tarot that we know today.

About the Tarot
A standard modern Tarot pack comprises of 78 cards, split into two interconnecting realms known as the Major and Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana comprises of 22 Trump cards. All of which are strikingly illustrated. Depending on the particular deck, the order in which the Trump cards appear can vary. However while the order may change the basic symbolism of the card names will be simular. Having said this, there are some notable exceptions as certain Tarot decks are designed primarily for meditation purposes, not for divination. Alongside the 22 Trump cards you have the 56 cards of the Minor Arcana, commonly known as PIP Cards, these cards are split into four suits: Wands, Swords, Coins and Cups, each ahrking back to the Tarot card game past. You can clearly relate the Minor Arcana to any standard pack of playing cards, Clubs relate to Wands, Diamonds relate to coins or pentacles, spades to swords and Hearts to Cups. Each suit has four Court Cards: Page, Knight, Queen and Kind.

Yesterday I found I seemed to be pulling our swords cards pretty heavily. Im still working on a bigger understand of the Swords suit but Nanettes notes indicate they are Air Element and cover Matters of idea and intelligence. All things of a logical, intellectual nature. A little further reading I did seems to pit them as covering conflict. Swords is supposably the most negative suit. What that says about me pulling them heavy who knows.

However - I left the workshop, making a new friend Suzy who is moving back to Wales on monday. We added each other on facebook with a view of seeing how both our spiritual journeys develop. Next I was picked up by my friend Yvonne and we went and watched some movies with Helen - a new friend I have met through Yvonne. I did a celtic cross reading for both of them and they said I got it bang on. So good stuff!

Made in Chelsea Season 3

So my favourite real yet not real, totally scripted with dodgy acting and long looks reality tv thing is back. At Xmas - Spencer and Caggie had finally got it on. So imagine the surprise that she went off to Oz with Proudlock and came back having fallen heavily for someone else and tatooed his name on her. Of course Spencer took it very well, making you wonder of course if Xmas was a whole made up thing just to pull in ratings or in fact are they better as mates.

Hugo is now all happy snuggly with some blond Natalia (I think) bird. Millie is with Professor Green. Both have moved on. Which is a shame as I loved Hugo and Millie together. Spencer and Jamie are moving in together. Oh my god haha. It seems he bosses Jamie about, oh and Jamie stepped away from Louise who he really liked on account of Spencer. So nothing to do with getting it on with Gabby then??????

Now they have introduced a new lass - size 6 blond christian that seems to have all the boys in a tizz. Cheska is slowly falling for a mate of Ollies, clearly being set up for a Cheska/Gabby/Ollies mate triangle. Binky seems to be non - existent so far as does my fav Mr Locke. We need more Ollie!!!!!

And Bouille. Oh Francis. Who one earth gets filmed pretending to network in the gym. And Why why why would you put that dodgy headband on. Next question - you can't win against Spencer for women so why think you could against Jamie either???? I have not been a big fan of Ole Francis - if you look back at earlier blogs but Im starting  to appreciate his comic relief. He's like the Mr Bean of MIC. I mean he's supposed to be this hotshot business man but nothing ever seems to go right for him.

sound advice and what happens when we die?

I haven't posted in a while but have been plodding on. Im happy to report I am now 17 pounds down. Im feeling much better about life on the whole - well barr last week when I had an uncomfortable run in with Mr Morrisons and we completely ignored each others existence.

That upset me that someone I have known so long, I can't even say hello too anymore. I went home and like the hopeless sap of a girl I am had a little cry about that.

Luckily for me - my mate who offered some sage words putting the whole thing in perspective. If you have tryed everything to fix something and you just can't then you have to just accept. I think his exact words were.

"Accept that. Your trying is making you suffer. Allow what IS to be. By allowing a situation to just be, we give it space, room to breathe, then it will sort itself out while we get on with our lives."

Now Im not saying thats easy, letting go and stepping outside of the issue. But I am going to try it. Because the thing is I really have tryed twice to fix things for the better. I can relax in the knowledge that I did try.

Anyway on with the more interesting stuff . . . . . . .

You know when you get those strange tugs - I can't really explain that very well. That inner bolt towards you having to do something????? Maybe its just me . . . . . . . . well I had one last week. I was reading my unexplained mysteries forum. As you know I love to do that!

And I came across a thread on reincarnation. Well thats an idea I have entertained a few times. Someone on the thread was talking about a person called Dr Michael Newton who had written a book Journey of the Souls. Now I have made a conscious effort to stop buying books until I can afford to get myself a Kindle. I love books, I love reading but I have a very tiny flat which has far far far too many books already. And I never want to throw any away.

I spent a few days trying to ignore the tugging that I had to get the book but as it didn't gone away, I bought it and its fascinating. Probably because whats come out of this mans life work in hypnosis (he's regressed and hypnotised over 7000 people to get the information he's written about and was a sceptic in the beginning) but it seems to fit with what I have always thought happens in reincarnation.

So there I was reading it a few chapters and I could feel energy all around me. My third eye felt like it was full of energy and the last few nights sleep have been the best in my life. Im not going to write a review yet as I am only about half way through the book but to date its very interesting.

Reflections of this weekend

Well I allowed myself to get het up. Something I haven't done in a while. I was doing pretty well on the whole living peacefully thing and the diet. This week it all went to pot.

I allowed it to happen 3 times to be exact. Well if Im honest, I suspect the first time there was more at work than just me. My conversation with my friend was incredibly confusing in that he seemed to have an overview of our friendship that did not match any of my observations. In fact he seemed totally off on one over me apparently not enjoying being taught chess by him, acting like an arse and accusing me of always getting frustrated when I can honestly say this weekend is the first time I have ever felt frustrated. He's bi-polar and smokes weed, so I that was probably more behind his strange behaviour than anything.

But I also think he was pushing me away. Our mutual friends have split up and he's a mess. A big mess. When he met me his clothes had holes in and he smelt. I guess he doesn't feel like he deserves people to care about him so pushes them away. This friend talks a big talk about being able to "Read" people and understand them but he can't turn that inward and help himself. Normally when somebody presents themselves to me like this I fight for them. I figure that if it was me, I would want someone fighting for and believing in me but the penny has dropped now.

Only 1 person can do that. And thats yourself. You can try help people as much as possible but if they won't let you and want to push you away what can you do? I got frustrated and walked away. But thats what he wanted. I get that now. If he ever changes that mindset, I will of course be around. The ironic part of this is - I really did enjoy learning to play chess.

The next person snubbed me from something. And I was upset. But whats the point? There is no point wasting energy on wondering why and getting upset. Just let them get on with it. If my company isn't wanted then I will not give it. I would rather give my company to those who appreciate it.

The last person, really infuriated me but I have taken a course of action I don't normally condome. I have backed down and decided to just let her have her way. I think sometimes you really have to pick your battles and this is one of them.

Annoyed

Seriously what is everyone's problem this weekend??????

I know 1 thing it ain't got shit all to do with Chess, small table bookings and Symbosis Commissions.

Get a life and stop being so petty!!!!!

Fat girl slim update

I had a text from my mate Sahra last night asking me for my blog url and I felt guilty that I have not updated this in a while. So, especially if Sahra's going to be reading it, here we go.

I have been going to fat club for 3 weeks now. It will be my 3rd weigh in tommorow night. I started the plan a week before joining the club, which was stupid as I lost 4lb by myself before rejoining and then in class in the last 2 weeks I have only lost 5lbs. Still a total of 9lb in 3 weeks is pretty darn good.

I have been making myself walk on a lunch time at work. I have been going for at least an hours walk every sunday. I have noticed that I am no longer getting puffy walking up the big hill to Grans. My current jeans are starting to hang off me and I am sleeping better. All this is fantastic. On the downside my face has come out in spots. Typical that when I eat junk, my face is fine. Eat healthy and it breaks out. Good times!!!!

My friend Chelle is also doing the SW plan and shes lost a couple of stone. We have decided to take it in turns to cook for each other every thursday in an attempt to try new recipes and we are supporting each other. Thats nice. Also my sister is being very supportive, texting me well done and the people at work - the NVQ crowd are also on SW and Pam keeps asking me how things are and making suggestions.

Hopefully too I might make some new local friends from going to the class. Im not the most confident person meeting new people but I did make an effort and spoke to at least 2 while I was waiting for class to begin last week. I will have to try keep it up.

There are some fantastic people at my SW club who have lost lots of weight and are so positive. They have a closed club page on Facebook that I have joined and we are swopping encouragement and recipes. So all in all, so far my SW experience is proving to be a good one.

Sahra is running a marathon, so I would like to wish her the very best of luck with that. I would like to get back into running one day. She is possibly going to start her own running blog which I think is a really cool idea!

I started off fairly well last year but was so self conscious. So for me this time, I want to get some weight off and have another go. Last time I was still a size 22 and my knees hurt. This time I want to get down to a size 16/18 and try it again.

I have to keep telling myself that this is marathon not a sprint. Its not going to happen overnight, it will be a long slow constant process. I have managed to do it before, I can do this again.

Offically rejoined slimming world again

So I managed to actually find the confidence to walk into the DRAM centre by myself. I had been fretting about it all afternoon, but it had to be done. As it was 9 other new people joined tonight, including a little boy. To say it was the local club I only vagually recognised a couple of faces.

My 10 % target seems so far off but I have to keep telling myself, I want to be a size 16 for Kate and Steves wedding. I can't go to another wedding this big.

Fat Girl slim w/c 03.01.12

Well I have just weighed myself and its shocking. I have so much weight to lose. I have had a fairly good week. Not had too many bad things, I have been trying to drink more herbal tea and water at work, snack on yogurts, special k bars etc.

Time to get serious!

Fat girl slim begineth again

So the diet starts today. I would have started it two days ago but I still had food not so good for me needing eating up. And the climate we are in now, you don't throw things away without using them. Plus I am back at work so its easier for me to get into a routine. I have my muller light, banana, wholemeal bread roll, mugshot  - all ready for a green day. I have porrige at work and I have herbal teas. I am going to try drink more herbal teas - hopefully it will help with this annoying cold that won't die too.

What I also need to do is get into an exercise routine. I tried running last year with some limited success but I have knocked the gym on the head to save money and its far too cold at the moment. Perhaps when it gets warmer - towards April I can try again. I may have even lost some weight by them. What would be brilliant would be to find someone willing  to come jogging with me but I doubt I can talk Chele into that. The truth is when I could do it last year I did enjoy it its just one day my body and my confidence just seemed to run out and I stopped. But shes up for swimming so perhaps we can get that going weekly.

The meditation is going well - 3 days in a row. Sessions all been about half an hour. Last night I kind of almost fell asleep but I think that was the cold and the medication more than anything but it will have still been beneficial for me.

Piano is going well too. Again I have practiced and played 3 days in a row. So I will try get back to doing an hour each night and half an hour meditation each night. Far more productive for me than spending all evening infront of the TV or on the PC. And if I can find an exercise DVD and make myself do that too, fantastic.

So all in all 2012 seems to be off to a good start.

Year of the Deb!

Well according to my brother this year is the year of the G. But thats for him. This year for me is the year of the Deb. In that I am going to succeed this year and enjoy it. When we get to this time next year Im not going to be moaning about how 2012 turned out (well unless some mad crazy event does happen on Dec 21st!!!!!!!!!!!!).

I suppose I could moan about last year now. It had some pretty horrible moments and Im also a big snot monster at the moment and feeling poo . . . . . .  but instead Ive decided to be positive and focus on the good stuff.

The main thing being the birth of my gorgeous niece. That is the best thing that happened to me in 2011. Shes just so amazing and changed so much in 9 weeks.

Following that was getting some self respect and making the decision in April not to go out of my way with people who really cannot be bothered with me. Not that any of those folks have noticed or seem to care but thats their problem not mine. You should appreciate what you have in front of you when you have it!

I feel millions better about myself and now I am no longer being used. Im still working on the forgiveness part for the person who did use me and Im confident it will come.

I also got a promotion at work, recognition for all my hard work over the years.

I met a couple of new friends. Both are really interesting people. Ones a musician with a bearded dragon. The others got an interesting outlook on life and magical hair!

So new years resolutions for 2012:

1-Lose weight. I need to get my fat ass back to slimming world and drop a few sizes and get fitter.
2-Continue trying to teach myself piano.
3-Try to Meditate every day - I need to get back into spirituality
4-Save some money for either a new computer or a holiday or if I am incredibly lucky - Both!!!!!

Recovered . . . I think

So xmas is over for another year. I have to thank my sister and her partner Steve for inviting me over and cooking an amazingly yummy meal. I went out xmas eve and drank wine. I don't drink much these days but it went right to my head and then I couldn't sleep at mum and dads. So that messed up my sleep pattern but now 2 nights later I think I am back to normal again. Great to be back in my own bed again.

So santa was nice as always this year. Also very practical. I have paint - for my kitchen if I ever get the crap thats currently on the walls off. Just spent 2 hours fighting some of it and am knackered. Theres like 6 layers of paint on top of the paper cause who was in before me couldn't be bothered to remove anything. They just painted over it instead.

My sister also got me some other bits for the kitchen. My brother got me a digital photoframe. He says theres some pics already loaded on it but I have not had chance to plug it in and look at them yet.

Mum got me a speaking roland rat mug. Prize for the most unique gift this year Mother lol. Got some funky slippers and tarot cards. I will have to have some meditation sessions and have a go at those. I actually got to speak to mum and dad in oz on xmas day. I must admit I am missing them. Gran came for dinner with me and my sister. She was in a incredibly grumpy mood.

Then in the afternoon we went up to see my brother and clan. I tryed to teach Sophie the first 3 lessions in the how to play keyboard book I got her. Shes promised to practice every day this week - I said I would show her lesson 4 but I suspect she won't have looked at it since. Who knows!

I have watched alot of good tv over the last couple of days - Dirty Dancing, Doc Hollywood, Miracle on 34th Street. Two miniseries - Earthsea and the Sword of Xanten which suprisingly featured a pre-twilight & HP fame robert pattinson. Based on norse myths. Apparently it was really huge in germany. I liked it though.

Got home and wrote some more gangster story. This is what I have so far. Im would love some comments but as no one ever seems to comment . . .. . *sulks*. Please comment!!!!!!!

America in the 20’s. What an era. We had it all, bootleg liqueur, speakeasies, gangs, drugs, weapons and the broads. America was taking off; more specifically Chicago was taking off. And it was in Chicago that I made one of the stupidest mistakes I could make. I tried to rob Fat Francis “Frank” Galdofini.

You see I made the mistake of thinking he was just a small fry. When I passed through Chicago the Irish ruled. More specifically Gabriel Fitzgerald had control of that town. I should have done my homework. Fat Frank had just come back from a stint in Sing Sing. He was pissed and he was rebuilding the Italians territory back after Fitzgerald stitched him up.

So there you have it and there I was having my guts punched out of me

Fat Frank was the epitome of calm when he walked into the room his goons were holding me. That put the fear of god through me. An angry Italian who was quiet was far far more dangerous than one shouting the odds.

He took a seat, hauling his broad frame into the chair behind the desk. The chair creaked. At first he said nothing, just taking sips from a drink and watching the other two men throw punch after punch at me. It was only when a large amount of my blood dropped on his wooden floors that he nodded his head and suddenly I was forced down on my knees.

Then Fat Frank leaned forward. “Perhaps,” he said finally, “I should have them rompere i coglioni a qualcuno.” (Break someone’s testicles – will need jacs mate to do correct translation)

Now I knew enough Italian slang to know that was . . . . not nice and definitely not something I wanted to experience. I also knew enough about mobsters to know that if they made a threat they normally followed through. So despite the excruciating pain I was already in, I mentally prepared for the worst.

Strangely though it didn’t happen. The big man instead sipped his drink one more time before adding,

“Or perhaps I should arrange for you two minchione (fools) to be broken instead for letting him get past you,”

Now this was a turn up for the books.

“But boss, we got him,”

Finally I saw some of that Italian fire. He stood up and threw the drink at goon number 1. “But he almost got away with,” the man picked up the pile of notes I had come close to scoring, shook the pile wildly and then threw everything off the desk. “Everything in my safe.”

A long silence passed, the men holding me clearly as worried about their private regions as I was at that point.

“Pick that up, all up and get the “scientist.” I want that safe repaired, the money back in it and I want it sorted yesterday. Kapesh.”

“Yes boss,” both men said in unison dropping to their knees in front of me as the big man settled into his seat once more.

“Oh and I want that blood off my office floor,” he demanded.

“I should kill you,” Fat Frank stated after another long silence in which both goons were frantically picking up money. He seemed now as calm as he was when he walked in at the beginning. This time however, he pulled a piece out of his suit jacket. As if I needed the point to be put across any further.

I said nothing. I was just as stubborn as I was stupid. And if this was where I was going out, I wasn’t begging for my life.

“However,” he placed the gun on the desk. “I could use a man with you’re . . . . “Talents”. So instead, I am going to give you the opportunity to “work” for me.”

Regardless to say, I didn’t need to think twice about what the answer to that one was.

Alas no heroquest again

So last night was supposed to be a games night. It didn't quite pan out that way. My mate was upset so it got cancelled and we went out to dinner instead to cheer her up. Even bought cheesecake. I have a wad of blueberry cheesecake in my fridge now that needs eating. Which is not good for me as I will eat it. So I am considering giving it to Inny my neighbour. She took some parcels in for me the other day, so I need to go round for those anyway.

Yesterday my sister and I took gran shopping. Never ever do that with a 91 year old 3 days before xmas. It was mental. I thought I was going to pass out at one point. Never good. Then we went and got a turkey. I have been saving my nectar points all year for that turkey. £17 it was. I had £15 of nectar points. So all in all not bad. A turkey for £2.00. I hung out with my sis at hers for an hour and we went up to see my brother and co.

So I got more cuddles with Ellie. I was even braver and manourved her up to my shoulder and in thanks the little darling headbutted me LOL. She may be small but shes powerful hehe

I watched the made in chelsea xmas special last night and "SPAGGIE" finally. About bloody time. Just wish Hugo and Millie could make it up now. I liked those two together. I also, and I never thought I would say this, but I also didn't find Francis as irriating last night. I think he endeared himself to me the fact he can't sing!

Im really loving this van morrison song at the moment

Returning back to writing

So yes I have been terrible lately. I think ongoing writers block and just down right being knackered all the time has combined in my poor blog just sitting here. Well I just broke up from work for xmas so I have no excuse now. Also Jacs at work has encouraged me to think about starting to write properly. I did look for a creative writing course but no joy. Kirklees used to do one but not anymore.

There are some online courses but your talking £150. So instead I have treated myself to a couple of half price books on amazon. The "home study" creative writing course lol and the plan is I am going to work through the exercises in there and Jac read them for me as shes done an english degree. We are also talking about writing a novel together. It may just be one of our, we can do this to get rich and finally go to NYC and see Michael Buble plans or it could be something.

The ideas we came up with so far have merit. I won't ruin ought by telling all on here as it could just be a blip. However you will surprised to see whats coming out so far is a gangster story not as most people would guess from me a science fiction one.

Piano has been bad too. Its like all I have had the energy for lately is work. And yes thats paid off. I have just had my PDR and everything was good and positive but I need to work on me now. Get some weight off - I have been bordom eating which I need to nix, I need to practice piano as I was getting somewhere then I stopped and you start to forget and I need to be creative. So there are my new years resolutions right there.

Oh right I forgot, finish the kitchen. I started stripping the walls and haven't done any more. So thats another goal, as my sister has bought me new paint for xmas and my dads got me 3 shelves. Which I can't put up until I paint it . . .  God I hate DIY but it will look better once its done.

My gorgeous niece is now 6 weeks old and I am getting braver at holding her. I changed my first nappy last week. Ellie is starting to fill out and get bigger now. Its so amazing to see it. I mean shes starting to see further and see colours. I am really looking forward to spending her first christmas with her. Although it will be strange without mum and dad. They are visiting my aunt in oz this year. We haven't heard anything, so I hope they got to HK safely.

Anyway I promise more posts now.

Peace out and holidays love

Debs x