Saturday, 24 March 2012

sound advice and what happens when we die?

I haven't posted in a while but have been plodding on. Im happy to report I am now 17 pounds down. Im feeling much better about life on the whole - well barr last week when I had an uncomfortable run in with Mr Morrisons and we completely ignored each others existence.

That upset me that someone I have known so long, I can't even say hello too anymore. I went home and like the hopeless sap of a girl I am had a little cry about that.

Luckily for me - my mate who offered some sage words putting the whole thing in perspective. If you have tryed everything to fix something and you just can't then you have to just accept. I think his exact words were.

"Accept that. Your trying is making you suffer. Allow what IS to be. By allowing a situation to just be, we give it space, room to breathe, then it will sort itself out while we get on with our lives."

Now Im not saying thats easy, letting go and stepping outside of the issue. But I am going to try it. Because the thing is I really have tryed twice to fix things for the better. I can relax in the knowledge that I did try.

Anyway on with the more interesting stuff . . . . . . .

You know when you get those strange tugs - I can't really explain that very well. That inner bolt towards you having to do something????? Maybe its just me . . . . . . . . well I had one last week. I was reading my unexplained mysteries forum. As you know I love to do that!

And I came across a thread on reincarnation. Well thats an idea I have entertained a few times. Someone on the thread was talking about a person called Dr Michael Newton who had written a book Journey of the Souls. Now I have made a conscious effort to stop buying books until I can afford to get myself a Kindle. I love books, I love reading but I have a very tiny flat which has far far far too many books already. And I never want to throw any away.

I spent a few days trying to ignore the tugging that I had to get the book but as it didn't gone away, I bought it and its fascinating. Probably because whats come out of this mans life work in hypnosis (he's regressed and hypnotised over 7000 people to get the information he's written about and was a sceptic in the beginning) but it seems to fit with what I have always thought happens in reincarnation.

So there I was reading it a few chapters and I could feel energy all around me. My third eye felt like it was full of energy and the last few nights sleep have been the best in my life. Im not going to write a review yet as I am only about half way through the book but to date its very interesting.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Reflections of this weekend

Well I allowed myself to get het up. Something I haven't done in a while. I was doing pretty well on the whole living peacefully thing and the diet. This week it all went to pot.

I allowed it to happen 3 times to be exact. Well if Im honest, I suspect the first time there was more at work than just me. My conversation with my friend was incredibly confusing in that he seemed to have an overview of our friendship that did not match any of my observations. In fact he seemed totally off on one over me apparently not enjoying being taught chess by him, acting like an arse and accusing me of always getting frustrated when I can honestly say this weekend is the first time I have ever felt frustrated. He's bi-polar and smokes weed, so I that was probably more behind his strange behaviour than anything.

But I also think he was pushing me away. Our mutual friends have split up and he's a mess. A big mess. When he met me his clothes had holes in and he smelt. I guess he doesn't feel like he deserves people to care about him so pushes them away. This friend talks a big talk about being able to "Read" people and understand them but he can't turn that inward and help himself. Normally when somebody presents themselves to me like this I fight for them. I figure that if it was me, I would want someone fighting for and believing in me but the penny has dropped now.

Only 1 person can do that. And thats yourself. You can try help people as much as possible but if they won't let you and want to push you away what can you do? I got frustrated and walked away. But thats what he wanted. I get that now. If he ever changes that mindset, I will of course be around. The ironic part of this is - I really did enjoy learning to play chess.

The next person snubbed me from something. And I was upset. But whats the point? There is no point wasting energy on wondering why and getting upset. Just let them get on with it. If my company isn't wanted then I will not give it. I would rather give my company to those who appreciate it.

The last person, really infuriated me but I have taken a course of action I don't normally condome. I have backed down and decided to just let her have her way. I think sometimes you really have to pick your battles and this is one of them.

Saturday, 3 March 2012


Seriously what is everyone's problem this weekend??????

I know 1 thing it ain't got shit all to do with Chess, small table bookings and Symbosis Commissions.

Get a life and stop being so petty!!!!!