Friday 29 April 2011

Hungover musings

So I felt pretty wretched this morning. That dam home made apple wine. When will I ever learn???? I was fine on the rose stuff but as soon as I had some of the apple it made me loopy. However muchos water, a huge cup of tea and a hearty breakfast ( I actually used my pamperchef tray bake and did the breakfast - 2 sausage, 2 bacon and eggs all in one go in the oven). Im starting to feel human again. May need another cuppa.

So Sahra did a good job last night and the Ann Summers was fun, except the getting drunk part and reverting to my usual form - sending naughty texts to someone I shouldn't (but in my defence . . .he sends them back. It takes two!!) and getting upset about another man who I really need to learn not to be bothered about at all as clearly from his silence over the last 10 days he doesn't give a shit about me. Actually in all honesty he doesn't give a shit about me as a friend even and the last two years I really shouldn't have bothered at all. So this is my new thing now, Im only making an effort with people who make an effort back.

The good news is that my cheesecake and buns went down very well both with the girls last night and Becks and the rest of the office yesterday. Stupidly I didn't get a photo of the buns or sample them - but Sahra took several home with her so they must have been okay. Heres the cheesecake though:
It was lush. The best thing I have ever managed to successfully create and something I would definitely make again.

So Matt suggested checking Scott Cunningham out in his blog the other day. As I have no money I think I might see if the library has some of his stuff for a read. I've never really been that into Wicca - I remember Matt telling me years ago I had energy and I should learn to harness it and all these people I have had readings off over the years all seem to say the same thing, that I can sense energy and need to work with it for healing. The bloke I saw at the last fair with Amy really stressed it. In fact he said he would be seeing me again and to get into tarot. However as he doesn't want to help me down that line (after being told to contact him with any questions - he replied to one email that he would get me some information and now is just not bothering to reply at all) I guess Im on my own.

Well lets face it in all aspects of my life I am always on my own. My sister told me last week I was the strong one - well this is why!  Nobody ever gives me the answers or sticks around. They bob into my life, give me a brief view of something brilliant, inpart some tiny seed of knowledge and then disappear again. The ones I think appear in my life to help me apparently are more lessons to be learnt - crystal skulls (Still trying to suss out that one), Angels, the american, the bloke I shouldn't have text last night, this keith bloke with the tarot. Im sure if I see him at the November fair I will be informed he didn't come back to me as its in my plan that I had to stumble upon it myself. He was only meant to plant a seed or something. I would meditate on it but I know that if my subconscious inner soul part hasn't revealed it to me in the last 10 years its not going to reveal any part of the life plan to me today. But yes diverting away here. I should check out Scott Cunningham.

You know what thinking about it thats probably why this song resonates with me, torments me and gets under my skin so much.


So Im being really sad and cruel today. Sad as I have bbc news on and am following the ongoing coverage of the royal wedding. I don't need to do that, could just watch the wedding when thats aired at 11.30am not all the interviews with the crowds and stuff. I want to say congrats to Prince William and Catherine. Ive always had a soft spot for him. He was one of my first crushes and to some extent still is. I think he's turned out very down to earth, caring and decent which in todays world its very easy to let things go to your head and not listen to or care about people. Instead from everything Ive seen he makes time for people, raises money for charities, and actually does a decent job - helicopter rescue. So the best of luck to you both.

I'm feeling cruel as Im considering some radical character development for the Trill character I write on USS Voltaire. I may kill her husband off. Purely to make it easier to interact with some of the other players. Neil - the captain bloke awhile ago suggested having the husband ordered to another ship as it would allow my character to develop and interact better and I didn't want too but now a couple of months down the line and getting to know the players better maybe I should have done it.

I think, in all honesty I wanted to keep my character Mel as close to the Mel I had on the USS Dark Phoenix when I went back into simming. As the phoenix doesn't seem to be any nearer to getting resurrected at all and now her last remaining link to the Phoenix (Naois and Valeia - who were on the Voltaire and one of the reasons I decided to get back into simming as I love working with Judy. Hell we simmed together on the Phoenix for a 5 year block) have also gone its time to fly solo properly. Judy is still there anyway just playing a different character.

Anyway Prince Williams just arriving so Im going to be patriotic and stop trying to suss out the meaning of life and watch him get married.

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