Struggling with motivation

So yesterday was not the best day. My boss brought in mini eggs and hollow chocolate rabbit/chick things for easter. I thought I could manage just the one taste but no that was it. I was back and forth and nibbling all day with the rest of the office. Also my bread went moldy so I had to buy a breadroll to go with my soup and it was sainsburies. So I ate proper bread. Feeling guilty when my mum rang and said she was now working late I decided to walk all the way home from the hospital. 1 hour and 20 mins. Which is great and may have cancelled out the chocolate but no by the time I had got home all I could think about was having a fish butty from the chippy. So I did.

I ate it slowly and tryed to savour it. But yeah very very very bad day food wise. I endeaver to do better today. Also Im not feeling that longing to run like I have been doing. And I need to get that back by tommorow as its gym day. I don't know whats going on.

Chele my mate recons and boys close your ears here . . . . . but pershaps Im a week away from my period. Not sure I never was that good at keeping track. But I do tend to crave sugar and stuff usually before then. We'll see I guess. Anyway this morning theres a nice fat chicken breast defrosting in the fridge. Im having that with steamed veg today and will try not to touch any chocolate whatsoever at work.

Couch to 5k Week 4 run3

So yesterday I got myself up at the crack of dawn and went out before work. It went pretty well. Didn't really start to flag until the last 5 min run. Got chased by a Jack Russell half way through the first 5 min interval and I think that made me go faster lol. Not sure Im ready to start week 5 on friday at the gym. I might load it on the podcast and give it a whirl or repeat week 4 again and try week 5 sunday in the park. We'll see how I feel.

Just weighed myself and Im another 3lbs down!!!!

couch to 5k week 4 session 2

Much better but then it was outside again. Im going my own pace, slower than the treadmill and its cooler than the gym. Plus I don't need to count like I do on a treadmill to take my attention away from thinking "when is this going to end?" as it always ends a lot quicker than I think it will. I also feel less self conscious as the only people who see me are a couple of dog walkers. The session went like this:

• Warm up for 5 mins. As usual I had to stop the MP3 as it took longer than 5 mins to get to the park
• Jog 3 mins - took a while to get my breathing flowing right but was over pretty quickly
• walk 90 secs - flew by
• jog 5 mins - did it no probs. I know Im a slow jogger but at the moment its endurance not speed. Once I get some lard off me I know I can work on the speed.
• walk 2.5 mins - really flew only just got my breath back
• jog 3 mins - aching a tad but powered through
• walk 2.5 mins -seemed to go even faster than the last 2.5 mins
• jog 5 mins - I just got on with it. Okay it was a slow jog pace but I just focused on keeping going round the park. "Laura" popped up at 2.5 mins and said I was half way through, everything was aching but I kept telling myself not to give up like I had on friday on the treadmill. When she came up and said 1 min left I smiled a little and just kept going. And for the first time I jogged longer than I walked.

Came back home, feeling pretty good. My right knee feels a little jolted but I think a couple of days rest and it will straighten out. Made some porrige - very yummy, half water half SS milk. Ate the lot, Kurt would be proud. And had the nicest shower in the world.

Thought I would share this:

 How messy did my trainers get today? Took about 10 mins to clean off all the grass. Good job I do now have 2 pairs.



Im still enjoying outside jogging a lot more. Have some time off coming up between all the bank hols so I think Im going to try getting up at 5am and doing my session and then 5.30am and doing it. Then I can see if 1- I can cope with the early run starts and what its like at that time light wise and 2 - if I have enough time to get it in before getting ready for work and mum picking me up. Once I lose some weight I know I will get more confident and be able to switch to on an evening outside but at the mo its a I don't want to be seen thing.


I need to get some more work out clothes, so thats a google for me this morning. Honestly getting plus size clothing is not easy. If anyone knows anywhere tell me!!!!!!!

C25K Week 4 run 1 just kicked my fat arse

I didn't manage the whole thing. Im annoyed at myself but also happy to some extent as I did manage some of it.
Todays session went like so:

• 5 min warm up. Im an old pro now
• 3 mins jogging - did it on 6.7, was okay.
• 90 secs walking - managed to recover my breath
• 5 mins -I was dreading it, I really was but I did the counting thing again and somehow got through it. I think I put the speed down slightly to 6.5 about half way through. Everything was really starting to ache.
• 2.5 mins walking - bloody hell that went fast. I hadn't caught all my breath even on walking 4.5 instead of 5.0
• 3 mins jogging - managed it. Was starting to flag
• 90 secs walking - this seemed about 30 seconds in my head it went that fast
• 5 mins jogging - this is where I failed to complete - I really ached - I didn't seem to manage to get into a stride like I did my last session and as soon as Laura came on and said, well done your half way there it was like my legs just went "no more," so I went back to a walk but tryed to be good and walked on 5.5 until the cooldown kicked off. Then I was feeling guilty so I upped the incline and speed a little more in my cooldown trying to make up for my failure in some way.

I managed 10 mins on the exercise bike as a proper cool down but I was feeling rather knackered so did it on level 3 rather than 4 like I have been doing. Then I weighed myself and I had stayed exactly the same which was really irritating.

It was boiling hot outside and I looked like a fat ugly red tomato as usual but I walked home abeit slowly. My legs really didn't want to work. They ache so much right now and I predict will ache completely to buggery tommorow . . .. . .

However okay I didn jog for 16 mins total, I did manage 13.5 which is a 4.5 min inprovement on last week. I can't knock that. In 3 months I have come from 30 seconds killing me to managing to jog a total of 13.5 mins. Hopefully I will push through for the full 16 next session, if not then I keep repeating this level until my body adjusts and Im comfortable with it. Im not giving up.

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run."

Yes I ripped it from Fatgirlrunnings blog but its inspirational. I will have to get John Binghams book.

Fat girl slim meets Fat Girl running

Good day.

Ate well, okay pretty well. Bex brought some amazing birthday cake in and I had to indulge. But Salmon, spinach, steamed veg for tea. Im mentally trying to prepare for the 5 mins tommorow. I want to succeed. More jogging than walking tommorow.

Found another fantastic blog :

http://www.fatgirlrunning.co.uk/

Its so nice to see other people like me succeeding. Spurs me on. Its a really good read too. And yep I get stuck for blog titles too.

Couch to 5 K week 3 (Repeated) CLEARED!!!!!

Im on a major high right now. Excellent excellent gym session tonight. I ran on 6.7 the whole time, I walked on 5.0 the whole time, I wasn't too out of breathe. I did the counting thing and it really seemed to help. It took my mind away from going "Laura come on tell me its over." Also after the first 3 mins I actually felt like I could have carried on a bit more. I think its time to have a bash at week 4 on friday.

The thing is even if I can't do the whole thing, I can keep going at it until I do manage it. Thats my plan now. I'll stay on each week until I feel comfortable to move on and after tonight its definitely time to have a bash at week 4.

Anyway the search for running music continues. I discovered the following - dance -Starship. Awesome . .  . . . . I soooooo need this on the pod.

And the gym had this on . . . . . dance journey. Another i tunes download me feels.

Fatgirlslim and glee . . .

Slept loads, feel great. Looked in a full length mirror and I am starting to look smaller in the stomach area. Still a hell of a long way to go. My work trousers are again getting really loose. I may need to buy a size smaller soon. Oh and Cazza at work complimented me on friday. That was good.

Gym today and Im on the last run of week 3 again. Not apprehensive as I know I can do it. However Im going to try another trick tonight. Reading my zest book one of the other runners suggestions is to count to 300 while you are running. Keep your mind off it hurting and hopefully my mind off screaming "come on laura when are we done?" That runner can do a mile every time she counts 300. I will probably need 900 for that lol but will give it a go!

My lovely sister sponsored me last night - another £10.00. So Im at 36 I think percent of my target.

Glee - I love this show. Season 2 is just brilliant. I love the warblers, I love the pairings - Artie and Britney, Tina and Mike Chang (God how sexy is Harry Shum Jr?), puck and lauren but last night Sam broke up with Quinn for Santanna???????? wtf!!!!!!!!! mental . . . .Anyway it was bieber fever last night. Im really looking forward to next week for the rachel berry house party experience hehe.

Couch to 5k week 3 run 2 (repeated)

Well my euthorpia of losing a stone is gone as I was pretty bad yesterday. I thought I was on grandaughter duty so had walked up to Grans but before that, I slept in and realised I had nothing for breakfast as I had taken my porrige to work. Went to Patels no bread. As I was running out of time to get to Grans I had to grab a bacon sarnie from shaws. Not good. My sister turns up at Grans and we have all got our wires crossed. I was initally going to go with my sis but then she informs me it was steve-o (her boyfriends) 30th on thursday, so I decided to let her take gran alone and went into town to get him something.

I was supposed to be meeting my brothers girlfriend for a late lunch anyway so sorted out steve-o (spent ages trying to suss out what blue ray he might like - almost bought Machete but decided against it. I would probably have got it wrong) so I got him a HMV voucher instead and he can pick his own. Went and got myself a new pair of trainers. Half price at £25.00 from sports direct. Good soles for reducing joint inpact. So now I have one for outside running - the new ones and my addidas ones for the gym. Looked at some running kit. I want some 3/4 length trousers. However tryed them on. I could get into the 18's but they were tight, so didn't get ought. But thats good. Im in them even if they look terrible at the mo.

Had about an hour to wait for Claire and was starving so went to Nero and ended up getting a chocolate iced milk drink (I reasoned Im a jogger they drink choc milk!) and yeah I know Im bad - a piece of chocolate crunch. Admitably its not the worst snack in that place. Two men infront of me had massive hot chocolates with cream and marshmallows and 3, 3!!!!! I kid you not chocolate pastry twists EACH. Anyway I enjoyed it and killed about 40 mins there, went and met Claire and one the way down to kingsgate they were giving free pizza out and it smelt AMAZING. So that was it, we went to pizza hut. Diet deaded. We shared a large thin crust chicken bbq one.

Anyway this morning I was determined to put things right or at least on a more even keel again. Set my clock for 6.30am. Got up, ate a slice of wholemeal bread and a couple of spoonfuls of cottage cheese and pineapple. Yum!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slapped my clothes on and new trainers, really stretched well. Followed the suggested ones in my running book and set off to the park. It went like this:

• 5 min warm up walk. Again had to stop the mp3 as it took longer than 5 mins to reach the park
• 90 sec jog - not too bad. Again up hill but new trainers were nice.
• 90 sex walk - this seemed to be over in a flash 
• 3 min jog - I went on last time. No matter how slow the jog just jog. It went fine. Got into a pace, got my breathing under control
• 3 min walk - again went really quick. Got my breathing back
• 90 sec jog - again fine. Seemed to be over really quickly. Did what I did last week and mentally made a route round the park
• 90 sec walk - flew by, got my breath back
• 3 mins jog - not too bad, paced myself again. When "Laura" announced the last minute again tryed to dig alittle deeper and give it some more welly
• 3 mins cool down walk - got breath back. Gave another victory punch. Was feeling pretty darn good. My brain informed me "We will make a jogger of you yet Debs". Decided to jog out of the park. Lady with a dog appeared. Dog ran after me, she appologised and looked at me like I was mental. I flashed a smile. Crossed road to go home and to my surpise:
• found myself actually jogging abit more on the way home. I wanted to do more people - how bloody brilliant is that!!!!!! and I could. I just thought okay - to that lampost. I enjoyed it and wanted to jog more.

Clearly outside running suits me far more than the treadmill. I struggle more on the treadmill. Again it was cooler outside and just having fresh air in your face rather than stale recycled gym air is the way to go. And I must be a morning runner person. I mean I have enjoyed my sunday morning ones much more than any of the gym session ones. However I don't think Im at a point where I'll happily get out of bed at 5.30am on a tues and friday before work yet. So tuesday will be week 3 run 3 on the treadmill again and then friday Im going to have to man up and try the 5 mins again. This time with "Laura" and the podcast.

Anyway forgot to mention - I got one of the nursey bods at work to take my blood pressure. 138/81 - awesome. The exercise and eating fairly well is paying off.

Also this is currently my fav tune to exercise on the bike to at the gym.


Im still trying to put together a really rocking playlist - bex at work has lent me a ton of CD's so I can put some on next week when I get them home from the office.

Couch to 5 k week 3 run 1 (repeat)

This is a backdated post as I didn't manage to update friday. So I went to the gym and Mirror universe bearded tuff guy actually smiled at me and said hello when I entered.  So I had decided to repeat week 3 again as last time my attempt at jogging 5 mins failed miserably. It went like this:

• Warm up 5 min walk - I am a pro at this now
• jogged 90 secs at 6.5 - not too bad
• Walked 90 secs at 5.0 - okay, got my breath back
• jogged 3 mins at 6.5 - decided to go slower again as I need to get my stamina up and all the forums I keep reading everyone else on this programme seems to be going slower than I am.
• walked 3 mins at 5.0 - again nicely got my breath back
• jogged 90 secs at 6.5 - starting to ache but managed it
• walked 90 secs - at 5.0 got my breath back
• jogged 3 mins at 6.5 - felt log was starting to flag but once "laura" came on and said 1 min left I powered throu and tryed to give that last min a little more welly
• cool down walk at 5.0 for 3 mins - felt pretty darn good

Decided at that point to weigh myself and was pretty happy that I did as Im now down a stone in weight! So one happy bunny.

Fat girl slim update - some thoughts

Very happy to say my running made easy (zest) book showed up today and I really kind of needed it. As I predicted I ache like buggery. What made it even more annoying is Steve aka my gym buddy - who consequently Im not sure how much of a gym buddy he will be after this week as hes leaving work and the last few times hes been on A/L he's epically failed the gym everytime. So I think Im going to be on my own as of next week . .. . . but yeah I just digressed. Its annoying as Steve never aches.

So yes all day long, aching aching aching. Then to my horror the feeling of tiredness that I seemed to have a week a so a go is suddenly back. Im not sure what this is all about. So I have started a taking a multi-vitamin every day. Im trying to eat the protein that Kirts told me too - which isn't easy. 300g of cottage cheese is alot to eat as a snack. Im going to go to bed earlier tonight and try sleep it off abit. My next gym session is friday, so hopefully a couple of good sleeps between now and then will sort me out.

Anyhoo - my zest book is pretty good and now Im feeling at lot more positive and motivated. Lots of testimonials of people who have embraced running and Ive just flicked through and discovered some stuff I didn't know. First up apparently most runners, the first 10 mins are awful. After you cross that mark things start to get better. Obviously Im nowhere near the 10 min mark yet. Im stuck around 8 to 9 mins with recovery walk breaks in between. Hopefully though being armed with this nugget of info will help next time I get on the treadmill. When Im plodding on there feeling awful Im going to try telling myself over and over as soon as you hit 10 mins you will feel better.

The zest book says to diary your experiences everyday - check Im pretty doing that on here. Lots of suggestions what to eat - salmon, sweet potatoes, spinach . . . .  check - Im doing all that. List reasons to run in book: Heres a few:

1. I want to love myself more, but have less of me to love - can resonate with that one! Weightloss big reason I started. Goal created - I want to get back into my green dress.
2. I want to banish away the blues
3. I want to be able to do a 5k run - hell yes, This was the start of the whole thing also. Check - signed up for race for life in july. Goal created.
4. I want to send my esteem rocking - yes please!

I think I will add -

•  I want to be fitter - not out of breath, be able to bound up stairs, walk up hills with ease etc
• To help with stress - channel all that negative energy into running
• I actually DO want to be able to run. I see all these amazing people on the roads and look at them thinking wow, amazing. I want to do that.
• I want to be in control
• I want to challenge myself - see how far I can actually go

Anyway every morning after a gym session, Bex bless her asks me how its gone. This morning I turned round and said not so good . . . . blah blah blah I only managed blah blah blah. I was pretty miserable this morning and still disappointed I didn't manage the 5 mins. Bex told me off and Im kind of glad she did as in doing what I was doing I wasn't acknowledging what I had managed to do.

3 months ago, I was really really really unfit. Now Im not saying Im fit now but I feel so much better than I did. I have lost 10lbs in weight. Okay its not as much as I would like, but Im also loosing inches and building muscle. Thats good - and think about it thats only running/jogging 1 - 3 mins at a time. Its got to fall off when I get to 20 - 30 min sessions time. But the best part is after xmas I pretty much wanted to collaspe after 30 seconds. Now I can do 3 mins straight. I have improved 10 fold.

My dad told me when I said I wanted to run, it was the stupidest idea I had ever had. That I would hurt myself. That I was too fat to run. Well apparently there are tons of other overweight people doing that. The truth is I think this is the best thing Ive done in a long time despite aching like buggery, sweating buckets and feeling knackered some of the time. And Im going to continue and prove him wrong. I want to run all or pretty much all of that 5 k in 3 and a bit months and I want him standing at that finish line eating his words and proud of me. I want to be proud of me. So you know what Im going to run. If it takes me 3 and a bit months or 3 years I will get there somehow.

Todays attempt at running

So I have been pretty bad foodwise the last couple of days, and on top of that I didn't go out a 3rd time on sunday. I was feeling a little pumped at work earlier and stupidly decided to try see what I could do of week 4, but not listen to the podcast. I stupidly thought I could do without Laura and have a crack at running wk 4. Na da. Todays session went like this . . . .

• 5 min warm up
• Ran 3 mins
• Walked 90 secs
• Ran 3 mins
• Walked 2 mins
• Ran 2 mins
• Walked not sure - 2 mins I think
• Ran 90 secs. I couldn't go any further. Was pretty disappointed.
• 5 min cool down

On the one hand its good that I did it with less recovery periods but I was still disappointed I couldn't do the 5 mins. So Friday its back to Laura and week 3 again. My legs ache, but thats good. Ive eaten properly today, so thats good.

In other good news I have now handed in my huge change management assignment and done the 15 min presentation. I was pretty much bricking it on the presentation front but I survived and my boss said it was good. I even got a card and a bottle of wine :0)

So just 3 more small assignments to go and ILM is done and dusted!

Epic fail on the jogging today

All good intentions went out the window last night when my mate Chele invited me round and impromptly opened up a bottle of her homemade, unbelievably strong wine. One glass turned to two and the viewing of Rita, Sue and Bob two 1 and a half times later meant I stumbled home and have a banging headache this morning to the point that only a Shaws breakfast is going to fix it. So I think I am repeat week 3 this week. I don't think Im ready to try jog 5 mins yet so will have another bash at the 3 mins.

Now my stats information on here informs me that theres some folks reading from the USA and Canada so Im guessing you probably having heard of Rita Sue and Bob too. Its from the 80's and all I can say is that this movie wouldn't be allowed to exist today. A lot of expletive terms and content thats very wrong in todays society. Heres a rather infamous clip.



So I have just posted my census and how dumb is this? On top of there being a question that just says go to the next question the government made it so its too big to fit in a normal postbox. Had a right job on folding it and getting it inside the one over the road. Good work chaps!!!

Okay well I need a big fat Shaws breakfast sarnie and a cuppa to see if I start coming round again. Peace out!

Im having one of "Those" mornings

You know when you managed to drop everything or do every stupid little thing possible. I rolled out of bed, Im not kidding totally misplaced my footing and nearly fell down. I managed to grab the computer chair just in time. Nearly slipped in the shower, then I washed up and managed to get water all over me. Made an omelette and managed to hit myself with a mushroom. I tell you I am dangerous with a spatula. And just then I turned this on and forgot I had left a cuppa brewing. Result - a cup full of tar! Joy. And its grandma shopping day so I can't be being absent minded and clumsy.

In other news - Im not aching as much today since run 2. Excellent. So I am going to try run 3 again in the morning in the park. I will do the same, get up at the crack of dawn and just go for it. Im going to have to get used to running outside if Im seriously going to do this and who cares who sees me right? Im doing my best. Lost 3lbs this week which I was pretty happy about.

Is it bad that I am loving this . . . . .


Radio 2 has been playing it 24/7 and I can't get it out of my head. I think its the slowmo talky bit Im loving and the lyrics top of the morning to you. But still very cool at the mo.

Booked my tickets to see my Geordies. Bit of background - being the geeky lass that I am, several years ago one of my uni flatmates put an ad in the SFX mag looking for penfriends and somebody called Nicky wrote back, we wrote letters to each other for several years and she has now become one of my best mates. We share a love of stargate and many other sci-fi related things and have been to a few conventions together. Sadly its been a few years since we made one and the problems purely monetary. However through Nic I have met her mates Jo and Laura who are just brilliant and when I go up and visit we have a blast. They last came down to my 30th, this year is Nics so Im going up for a few days and we have decided to do the Tyndale Beer festival. Im quite excited about this as Ive never been to a beer (and cider I believe) festival and they are painting these beautiful visions of sunny days, picnics and steadily getting drunk in good company. So I got my tickets sorted yesterday on nat express - £21.90. Ammendable and refundable if ness. Complete bargain. Okay I have to get to leeds first but thats no biggie.So I am counting down the days now to our summer adventures and the race for life.

This is my fav pic of us but its a few years old now so I should get a nice new one when I see them in a few months.

Race for life news - I now have 2 sponsers. £15.00 raised. 21% towards target. Haven't been round and bothered everyone yet. I will do that end of April I think. Excellent news.

Last night I had one of those rare and hopefully becoming less rare evening out with some girlfriends. I didn't drink for 2 reasons - 1 Im on grandaughter duty and 2 I am trying to be good dietwise so I stuck to diet coke and lime and sode water. But it was really nice to kick back and have a chat with the girls. I had a nice chin wag with Louise who I knew from highschool and we seem to be pretty much in the same place lifewise at the moment. She joked we are both becoming too cynical and perhaps I am. Thats something to ponder. Have I become so cynical from previous experiences that its stopping me enjoying other ones? I sound a bit like Carrie Bradshaw LOL

Haha I just knocked my cup of tea over. I have a serious case of stupid clumsness today . . . . .. ....

On that note I'll leave ya. Peace out !

Couch to 5 k wk 3 run 3 and sham marriages

So I got myself to the gym last night and managed it. When Im doing the run it seems hard but afterwards suddenly its Ive done it. Last night even the 90 seconds seemed to take long. I ran at 6.7 which felt better. I think my speed is 6.7/6.8. I wore a different pair of jogging pants, thinner ones I hadn't been able to get into for ages and I will go back to my others and as I was a right sweaty betty. Naturally one treadmill on a stick insect girl proceeded to run for about 15 mins really fast making me feel somewhat inferior again. The walk home was okay and at least I remember it this time. Got in and treated Kav downstairs to an inpromptu singing session of starships we built this city, baba O'riley and turning Japanese. Lord only knows what he thought. Anyway I have to try get my ass up sunday morning again and attempt the 3 mins in the park.

Last night Panorama showed an interesting documentary on Sham marriages. They went undercover and showed some criminal gangs selling women to agree to the marriages and a really really really dishonest lawyer in London who caught on undercover camera was very clearly happy to participate in breaking the law but then did the slippery lawyer thing at the end claiming otherwise. Shamful. I really hope they don't get away with it. They followed one couple pretending to be a TV show happy weddings or something, an Ali and Maria. The women maria turned out to have ripped off the name from poor spanish girl who had no idea and disappeared completely. The groom Ali worked at 2 restuarants and even went out after being married on a date with one of the undercover team. Naturally he disappeared at the end too. Absolutely shocking how dishonest people will be.

Godlfish - there alive and run 2 week 3 C25K

Came home, my babies were still alive. Spent over an hour cleaning out the tank properly. I mean it sparkles now. Let the water warm back up to room temp and popped the fish back in and now they seem fine. My boss says it was due to the water being too cold, which I stupidly forgot about as I had turned the heating off this week.

My friend Amy came round last night for a cuppa and I was still feeling knackered. I don't know whats with me this week. I just seem to be feeling knackered all the time. I started taking a daily multivitamin to see if that would help but not noticing a difference so far. Last night I was thinking I would skip the gym today and just do a run 2 on sunday and repeat week 3. However this morning, I still ache a fair bit but then I got my first sponsorship on my webpage for race for life. Georgie Jo bless her sponsored me £10. I love her to bits. So I immediatly felt guilty and have packed my gym bag now. Maybe its the low fat high protein stuff that my body is trying to get used to. I have no idea.

Anyway, presuming I do make it to the gym tonight, I will try the running on 6.7/6.8 this time. Fingers crossed.

Consequently I had a spare hour to myself last night and watched a re-run of Battle Star Galactica. I totally forgot how awesome this rendition of all along the watchtower is. Enjoy.

Goldfish update and body image

They are at least the right way up in the bowl I have them in now. So Im guessing thats good. Fingers crossed. Ive put about 6 or 7 fish flakes in there to see if they actually eat anything. There moving a little round the bowl now. Oscar looks the worse, he's tried to swim a couple of times and keeps bottlenosing. I did consider giving them some peas, perhaps tonight.

Before the big fish panic last night I was watching a show called supersize vs super thin kids addition.Its  presented by this chap - Dr Christian Jesson.

He gets one supersized person and one super thin person to live together in a feeding clinic for a few days and to eat the others diet. Its a bid to teach them to be healthier. Last night there was a you boy I think in junior school weighing 16 stone.

Ive had an interest in body image since I did it for my dissertation at uni. Its not only somthing that affects every since person but also big busniess for the economy. I remember watching a video called Slim Hopes. Advertising an obsession in Thinness." I think Annie Lennox sums up the whole idea of the "slim ideal" here:


Last night they had a girl on who had been anorexic. A young teenage girl. Apparently there are these pro-ana site they call them urging girls to not eat to be thin. Now normally Im on the other side of body image, being overweight I suffer for low self esteem and confidence. But seeing the other side and how dangerous it is for children as such a young age is heartbreaking. No 9 or 10 year old should be thinking how can I live on 1 apple a day to stay thin.

C25K Week 3 run 1

Im pretty miserable right now. Not cause of the run at the gym earlier. But because my goldfish are seriously in a critical condition. I was waiting until the weekend to properly clean out their tank but tonight they were gasping for air and breathing irratically. So I decided to do a partial waterchange. As soon as I did that suddenly they were upside down and on the bottom of the tank, barely breathing. So I have fished them out into a bowl with good intentions of cleaning the tank tommorow night. And they are just laid on the bottom, not swimming, barely breathing. Ive administered some swim bladder stuff. Now really all I can do is wait and pray.

The run. Well it went pretty much:

• Walk 5 mins. Im a pro at this now
• Jog 90 seconds. Not too bad - used to it from last week.
• Walk 90 secs - easy got breath back
• Jog 3 mins. Well the first time round it didn't seem that bad. "Laura" advised we were half way through the 3 mins. I chugged on.
• Walk 3 mins - doodle
• Run 90 secs -managed it was flagging
• Walk 90 secs - yep did that
• Run 3 mins - OMG. "Laura" informs me I have 1 min left. That was the longest min of my life. I also think I went too slow today. At 6.5 it seemed slow. So Im cranking it up to 6.7/6.8 Thurs on run 2. 
• Walk 3 mins. Took a while to get my breath back.

I don't really remember walking home. It seems rather like a dream. I think I needed some energy. I ate a banana but it didn't really hit me properly. Had some tea when I got home. Really do feel quite knackered. I cleaned up the kitchen, made my eggs and spinach for tommorow and cooked some chicken as it went out of date at the end of today so that lunch tommorow too. Not sure what with yet though. Then the fish saga hit me.

Ive just had another look at my babies and there are at least breathing a bit more and theres some fin movement. But still upside down and not swimming. Im going to go to bed and hopefully they might be in better shape tommorow.

Vampires

So Vamps have kinda become quite big culturally over the last few years. This is due to the success of one certain Joss Wheadon - I bow down to you sir and a few book series - the sookie stackhouse ones and the ones that Robert Pattinson is staring in the films. So your probably familiar with the following:

In case anyone is wondering Im soooo not team anything on the twilight front. I despised that film. Not saying that Robert Pattison isn't nice to look at but it took about 2 hours to do a story that could have been done in 20 mins and it was so cheesy. Trueblood however Im loving and Im very much Team Eric.

So really what is a vampire?

"Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person." Wiki

So my reading of that is they can feed on your via blood or energy as thats part of your life essence too.

Stories of Vampires started circulating in the Balkans and Eastern Europe. Once of the most famous being "Dracula" from Romania. This was publicised more in 1897 when one Bram Stroker (Tips hat to you sir) published his novel Dracula. Naturally it got the victorians all in a tizz.

Theres a hell of a lot of information on wiki which Im not even going to try summarise. So if your interested heres the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire

Legend and more specifically Vern last night (who coincidently I got to for all my supernatural monsters advice) tells us that a Vampire can be warded off in the following ways:

• Crosses/Crucifixs
• Silver bullets
• Stakes
• Garlic
• Holy water
• Turn into bats or other familiars

They are said to not be able to walk on holy ground, walk in daylight and also theres some rule that if you don't ivnite them in they cannot cross your threshold.  They are also supposed to be incredibly sophisticated, charismatic and attractive.

Now I've never met a vampire so I couldn't tell you if they are real or not. I do believe people can feed off energy though. Have you ever been round someone and felt drained? Well I have experienced that. Anyway the big V man says I don't have to worry as the Vampires will only come after the Zombie accopolspe. Hehe okay then. I won't worry about it at present.

Seriously though some people think theres is a perfectly normal explanation for said legends and some people feeling then need to ingest blood. Firstly theres those people who genuienely believe it and start killing or drinking blood and theres is also some medical explanations i.e. Porphyria.

I'm going to conclude the same way I did in an essay I wrote for Uni about Fairies - Whether they really exist isn't the point. I can't prove it one way or the other. What matters is they exist in culture and our beliefs and thats what makes them real. Giving hope (to some) and fear to others. What do you all think? Comments as always very much welcomed!

C25K Week 2 run 3 and Vampires . . . .

So I have just got back from the park. I actually set my alarm at 6.30am and got up and made myself eat a banana for energy. Then went back to bed for a half hour, got up again and slung on a tracksuit. Fed my goldfish who looked at me as if to say "are you crazy women. Do you know what time it is on a sunday morning?" Decided to ignore them and made myself stretch really well. I got up really early to try avoid anyone seeing me. Hell knows a red faced fat girl trying to run is not the worlds nicest thing to watch. That failed miserably as immediatly one of the women from the cafe round the corner saw me and the nice coloured bloke who says hello to me every morning on the way to work appeared out of nowhere gave me a funny look and then waved across the road to me. So no doubt the neighbourhood gossip chain will have the news out that "Debbie went exercising sunday morning". Honestly you would think my lot have nothing better to do that gossip. Well actually none of them work and most of them drink all day so I guess they have to talk about something . . . . I'm sure by the time I got get my sunday paper Mr Patel will be asking me about it.

Anyway the session went like this:

• 5 min walk warm up to the park. Had to stop the mp3 as I hadn't made it to the park by 5 mins and "Laura" was going to tell me to run."
• After successfully navigating myself over the road, a couple of funny stares for some pedestrians I got to the park and resumed the podcast. I started jogging on the grass. Realised it was in fact totally different to on a treadmill.  I was also going up hill. Made it to where the swings were and thought I can't do this. Stopped. Then amazing to my surprise my subconscious mind suddenly yelled at me, "You can do it. How is it any different really." So I listened and resumed jogging. I think I lost about 10 seconds of the 90 sec jog. 
• Walked 2 mins. This seemed to go really fast.
• "Laura" told me to run again. I resumed jogging. Mentally set myself a track round the grass. Again struggled going uphill. My mind reasoned it doesn't matter how fast you do it just do it." So I continued abeit slowly.
• Walked 2 mins. Starting to get hot and sweaty.
• "Laura" told me to jog again but gave me some advice about breathing. Start on left leg breath in and count to 4 then breath out. Decided to try it. It seemed to work quite well. I continued on my slow jog. Suddenly was surprised 90 secs was over. 
• Walked 2 mins.
• Jogged again. Did the breathing. Same out come. 90 secs was over fast. Was beginning to like that I wasn't jogging and thinking come on whens this over!
• Walked 2 mins. Saw a dude walking his dog. He looked at me like I had 2 heads or something. Decided I could go 2 ways here. Either get self conscious and stop or value all the hard work I had done to get to this point. So I went with the later, flashed him and the dog a smile and got on with my next jog.
• Jogged 90 secs. Again it surprised me how fast it went.
• Walked 2 mins. 
• Did my last jog. Another dog walker. Again the session finished really quickly. 
• Actually rather geekily did some sort of victory punch in the air when "Laura" announced the cool down. Found myself saying breathlessly."I did it!"
• Walked back to my flat proudly, stretched then drank some water to rehydrate and devoured half a small tub of cottage cheese for protien repair. Kurt at the gym would be so proud of me. Look Kurt Im listening to you and trying to follow your eating plan advice!!!!!!
• Showered and decided to share with the world my success on my blog.

The thing I did like about doing it outside was you don't feel like you get so hot as the wind is blowing. Also the grass was nicer to run on than a treadmill. So the plan is now, try week 3 on tues and thurs at the gym and hopefully I will do the park again next sunday. Best of both worlds then. Im getting the fitnesses training in on the treadmill and the experience on the grass properly outside (abeit slower jogging) as well.

Anyway did you all see the moon last night. Wasn't it gorgeous. It got to 8 pm and I decided to go for a quick walk. I called on my mate Grant who lives up the road to see if he wanted to see it too but was informed he was in the bath so I left him to it, walked down to grovener road where the playing fields were and just stood there for about 10 mins enjoying it. I also called my brother and suggested he put the kids in the car and take them for a drive so they could witness the beauty too especially as it would be 20 yrs before it happened again. Then I found myself texting my friend Vern in Halifax to see if it was just as beautiful over there. He came back and informed me it was actually a blood moon and that Vampires on this night deem all blood not good enough to eat. That got me thinking about vampires and the fact I haven't really been writing about the paranormal side and mysteries I promised. So I'm going to do another blog now dedicated to Blood suckers.

Supermoon tonight

So its a once in every 20 years event this evening. The moon is the closest to Earth that it gets I think and that plus a combination of other factors that Im not even going to pretend I understand or did understand when they were discussing it on radio 2 yesterday means it will look a lot bigger. I remember this happening before. Dad was taking us to visit my gran when she lived in wakefield and you could see it looking huge and beautiful on the way over. Im praying for clear skys tonight so I can see it again.

Now Ive just had a thought. The moon has an effect on the tides and water etc. Some nurses claim it has an affect on people when its full. Theres mental institutions that report patients going strange during a full moon. The tsnami - thats just hit poor Japan. Its coincided with a supermoon. I think I need to do some research here - did anything major happen 20 years back at the last one? Is there pattern?

I managed run 2. There was a slight dumbass moment when I acidently pressed stop on the treadmill instead of pause. My right calf was giving me gyp and I wanted to do a quick stretch. That meant I had to reset my programme. I felt like I cheated a little bit as it meant I got a little extra recovery time. So to make that up I tryed to run a little longer that "Laura" told me to on the podcast. Shes been very helpful this week randomly giving me breathing tips during the routine. The good thing was it wasn't as bad this time round as tuesday. I ran slower, paced myself better and was very consciencous of my arms and tryed to keep them more relaxed. I didn't start getting a stitch this time and didn't seem as tired out. In fact the last running interval I actually felt I could have kept going. So I am more confident for doing the 3 mins next week.

Week 2 run 2

Im trying to mentally get into gear for this after work. Im reasoning freaking out is just mental. Ive done it once therefore I can do it again. If I can do this week, theres no reason whatsoever that I can't do next week. If I start to struggle abit I can always knock down the speed. I was pondering that maybe I have been trying to run to fast as 60 seconds definitely didn't feel as bad as 90. So the plan is hit that treadmill up to 7 as normal and jog, try not to go to quickly and tire myself out.

I have bar monday when I was off been eating right. I even tryed to follow Kirts meal plan. Today its porrige and cinnamon to start. I have my potatos in my bag for lunch and my cottage cheese is there. I have my banana for before the gym. I have my cottage cheese in the fridge for when I get back in and theres chicken in there to cook for dinner tonight. Yesterday I had my first frozen spinach. Im not big on spinach as its pretty bland and I certainly didn't have 4 eggs like Kirt said as 4 eggs come on. I had 2 boiled instead and reheated the spinach at work to eat with them. Its seemed to work though. Took some strawberries and blueberries to snack on. Been drinking tons of water. I will just have to try be good this weekend and hopefully touch wood in Kirts class monday I will have dropped some.

I know one thing, Im a trouser size down now and things are feeling loose. My coats alot looser.

Anyways - I'll let you know how it goes!

Peace out!

Fat Girl Slim is freaking out

Ok first up my god do I ache this morning from yesterdays workout. But that has to be a good thing. It means I used my muscles right.

Stupidly, stupidly stupidly I started reading some other peoples blogs and watching some Vid blogs on couch to 5k and holy crap next week Im supposed to run for 3 mins. Yesterday was hard. 90 seconds was hard, but 3 minutes. Double what I did last night.

Okay okay lets be sensible here. Concentrate on this week. Maybe fridays session will feel easier. I can always repeat week 2 until I can do it without wanting to die. And if all these other people can do it and some of them are bigger than I am - theres no excuse. Respect to all those other people.

Fat Girl Slim - C25K Week 2 and Outcasts Finale

OMG I actually was under the illusion that running an extra 30 seconds while having 2 mins to recover walking wasn't going to be too bad on account of conquering last week. Boy was I wrong. It went like this . . .
Warm up - no problems

1. First 90 second run - all ok
2. 2nd 90 second run - ok
3. Third 90 sec run - getting tired
4. Forth 90 second run - started getting a stitch
5. Fifth 90 second run - Ouchies but I powered through as I thought it was the last one.
6. Last run - oh my god and no amount of picturing the green dress made it an easier

But . . . . . I did it. I ache like mad and felt like I was going to keel over half the time but I did it. I just have to try do it again friday. I also ate a whole lot better today than the weekend.

So Outcasts the finale. I started off not sure on this one, Ive taken a long time to warm to some of the characters but in the last couple of weeks I was there and starting to really enjoy it. This continued in the finale. Clearly the writers had plans for a series 2 but its been announced now that its not happening so we were left with a cliff hanger. The ship that Julius has been contacting crashed down, fleur turned out to be a different type of AC, Stella managed to block the alien force making them ill and we got a fleur/cass kiss. Yeah! But now we will never know what should have happened. So in all geekiness I found one of the writers blogs and left a comment asking if they could share what would have happened. The comments been published but no response lol. I guess I will have to use my imagination as to what happened.

Outcasts, being human review and Pancakes

So Outcasts really did start of pretty crappy but its on a slow burn. Sadly I can't see the BBC picking it up for another series and recon its going to be one of those cult one off sci-fi things. Obviously not as good as say Firefly but now several episodes in it has it a few charms. Don't get me wrong. I still think Fleurs pretty annoying and Hermoines character is pretty bland but thank god for Cass and his angst this week as his old life collided with his current one. And thank good for Julius - he's just the correct amount of sinister to make you want to see how its going to pan out next week.

This week saw a rather creepy scene at the beginning where the president bloke was talking to an exact repilicar of himself - presumingly a manifestation of the alien presence that we now know is on the planet.

They are pretty pissed at the humans apparently and created the virus that started killing off the kids. Anyway Hermoines character starts figuring out how to communicate hoping a dialogue will change their minds about trying to exterminate the colony.

Cass finally got Fleur to agree to a date then someone sent him a note saying "they knew who he was, be in touch soon." Naturally he did that bloke thing where they freak, run to the bar, consume a stupid amount of alcohol, end up having a one night stand and then get in serious trouble as sed female turns out to be mentally unhinged and only after a gun. Robs him, they have a scuffle, she ends up bleeding in his place, then disappears.

Cass then got arrested, Fleur finds out his secret, freaks and pissed at him for sleeping with someone else doesn't support the bloke whos had her back for weeks now. Cass broke out of prison when he realised that it was the womens husband who wrote the note and actually was going to try kill her, he races to save her and presumably she clears his name. Fleurs still pissed though. However thats not all of her problems as Julius again contacts the other ship, it sends him a file and apparently Fleur is part of some experiment. Oh and to top it off, still pissed at Cass, stupid fleur then gets drunk and gets it on with Jack. Can anyone say angsy love triangle???????

Being human - Fantastic. I thought aidens portrayal of mitchell was excellent when Annie confronted him about the box 20 incident and he finally admitted everything. And finally Herrick got his memory back and proved just as evil as ever stabbing Nina right at the end. Can't wait to see the conclusion next week. The only downside was Robson Greens werewolf character biting the dust. Shame - McNair was pretty good.

Finally yesterday was pancake day in the UK. Normally I don't really participate in this as I tend to forget but for once I didn't. So I had some lovely pancakes for tea last night :0)

Fatgirl slim - Couch to 5k

So I am offically starting this programme today. Im just going to have to make myself go to the gym on a weekend as well as its 3 runs. Either that or get my ass up to the park. I have been following Evil bearded tuff guys walk 1 min, jog 1 min programme for 2 weeks now and feeling much better about that. NB - I upgraded him back to Evil as I felt he was laughing at me at the gym last week. I mean Im trying my hardest here and I know I go all red and melt but I look in in that mirror and hes at the other end of the gym staring.

Anyway - I got myself an ipod shuffle have downloaded all the podcasts and will be doing week one tonight which Im envisioning not having too many probs with as its walk 2 mins run 1 min and Ive been doing more than that. Im also loaded some music for when Im on the cross trainer warming up and bike cooling down.

Last night urged by my friend Sahra who has lost a whooping 3 stone and looks amazing - I went along to another one of the gym trainers weekly healthy eating class. This was rather interesting so Im going back next week and have asked him to sort me out an eating plan. I should be eating differenting on training and non-training days. He also took my weight and measured my body fat percentage which was horrible! But thats going to go down. I was disappointed that even though I have been pretty good again on the food front this week the scales only showed 0.3 of a kg loss. I guess I really must be building up some muscle but thats a good thing as learnt from last night it will increase my metabolic rate and make me leaner.

I know I have been pretty crap on the blog front lately and thats due to ILM assignments. Once the course is finished I will post more often. However I will put some thought up about outcasts and being human next time.

Peace out folks!

Fat Girl slim update

Finally after weeks at the gym I saw a drop in weight. Im 4lbs down. And I managed to get my walk/run prog up to 24 mins. The mucsles in my right leg keep giving me gip though. Ang at work said to keep rotating the ankle as it loosens them up. Gave that a go and it helped with my calf but my right thigh just feels huge this morning. Wish I knew if that was normal.

Trainer guy said to try jogging at a 1% incline so I might give that a go friday on my next gym trip.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost I salute you!!!!! Beware major geeking out ahead!

Im just fresh back from watching Pegg and Frosts new offering - Paul.


Pure pure pure genius boys. Loved it, loved it, loved it. So many homages, I particually liked the starwars cantina playing in the bar. I think in all honesty, Pegg and Frosts best work to date. 

And Frost was looking particually delicious even with the long hair. It also has to be noted that me and my mate Amy really really really want to make it to Comic Con one day.

In other news, after 2 months of playing on and off I finally bet FF 14 this weekend. And wowzers how mean can squaresoft be?????

Spoilers . . . . . . . look away now if you don't want to know!!!

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So I played through 13 chapters, fought many many many bosses and I get right to the end . . . . . have to fight most of the bosses from previous chapters souped up and . . . . . . . then I have to endure an Epic 3 part battle, no save inbetween, no opportunity to change strategies and in their final parting gift squaresoft slap doom on me in part 3.

Could you make it any more harder??????????????????? A 20 min time limit. I got right down to 240 ish seconds. Geez I thought I wasn't going to make it. But I did and I was rewarded by one of the most epic cut scenes of all time.


As such FF 14 has been upgraded to my 2nd most favourite FF game. Naturally number 7 still holds the number 1 place.

Squaresoft have announced a sequel to number 14 recently and a teaser trailer has gone up on the web. It doesn't show much except Light in some funky angelic feather like armour and a bloke.


I am presuming he's the bad guy but then with FF you never can tell right?

Anyway now I have cracked open Starocean the Last Hope. I loved Star Ocean till the End of time, so hopefully it will be a good one. I mean with the main character called Edge Maverick - I kid you not!!!! How can it not be?????

Race for life training - Fat girl slims starting to jog

Evil Mirror universe bearded tuff dude at the gym has hence forth been downgraded from Evil to just mirror universe bearded tuff guy. Purely because today he was rather unevil like and quite helpful. I had booked in for my review with Jo but for some reason he decided to do it instead. Perhaps since he has witnessed me sweating it out and being a huge red tomato since xmas he has a measure of respect for me now. Who knows!!! Anyway I explained I had signed up for the Race for life and looking to get my fat arse jogging and then running properly. I also told him about the NHS couch to 5 k thing and he said he could sort out a programme simular.

I actually downloaded the 1st podcast but as I am crap and have no mp3 player and no headphones with me for my mobile that wasn't an option. So I took him up on it and he programmed in me walking for 1 min and then jogging for 1 min for up to 32 mins I think. Today I managed 20. So I jogged for 10 minutes of that. And I felt bloody good. No way could I have done that at xmas. I am definitely getting fitter. Anyway I am going to work that up to the full 32 minutes and then I am going to get him to change everything to me jog 2 mins, walk 1 min and so forth and gradually build up my time jogging like the couch to 5 k works.

The only downside was I weighed myself fully expecting to have dropped weight as clothes are really starting to get really loose - I can't be far off dropping a dress size now. And the scales said I had only lost a pound. Mirror universe bearded tuff guy recons that I am building muscle. Who knows. But I'll keep eating right and hopefully I'll see the scales drop abit more.

Japanese dumpling making

So anyone who knows me knows that my cooking is very hit and miss. I either do a pretty good job or I create the worlds biggest mess. I have been wanting to try these for awhile, since Amy and I had them at the asian restuarent in Manchester. Been trying for ages to find some Gyoza skins and it was looking like I might have to order them off www.japancentre.com but as luck would have it the asian shop in inperial arcade had some in yesterday. No wasabi peas though as my boss bought them out at lunch time.

Anyway heres what you need:

1/3 cup finely chopped cabbage
2 tbsp of spring onion
1tbsp of garlic salt or 2 small gloves finely chopped
1 tbsp of ginger - the recipe called for fresh but I didn't have that so used ground ginger instead. It worked okay
1/2lb of minced pork
2tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp sesame oil
A packet of Gyoza skins - see below

I LOVE how the company is called Happy Belly.

Anyway - put the meat in a bowl. Mix it up with your hands until its abit sticky. Add in the garlic, ginger, Soy sauce and sesame oil. Mix some more, then add the cabbage and onion in. Combine well. It ends up looking like this:

Cover meat mix and bang in the fridge for 30 mins or so so the meat and veg can mix well. Then you spread a little flour on a mat/chopping board (this adds extra crispiness according to the tutorial I watched on youtube). Place a wrapper in the flour for a sec, life up and sit on your palm. With your other hand spoon a bit of the mix in the middle.

Sorry guys I didn't get a photo of that as I had my hands full. Next you wet the tip of your finger with water and run it round the edge of the Gyoza skin. Press it together like a half moon and work in some pleats. And you end up with. . . . . . . .  Drum roll please . . . ..


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Da da! 

Next heat a wok/fry pan and brush with some sesame oil. Arrange the dumplings in and fry on high heat for 1 min. After that pour over boiling water till they are about half submerged, put a lid on and steam for 5-6 mins.

The water should all evaporate away and one side be golden brown. Plate up, mix some soy sauce and vinegar together and serve. Voila!

They were delicious and my belly is very happy!

Fat girl slim starting to get some results!

So the best thing about this week is looking in the mirror the other day and seeing my thighs. Normally I hate my thighs and I avoid them and run for the hills but I have been going to the gym now for about 6 or 7 weeks. Some weeks I have managed 2 workouts, some due mainly to illness just the one. I hadn't actually noticed it at all but it hit me this week. I'm getting fitter and my thighs are looking leaner.

I always walk home after a gym session and theres this really steep bit that normally knocks me a little out of breath. Well the two times I have walked it this week I've bounded up there. Fantastic.

Anyway I have made an appointment with bodybuilder Jo at the gym to review my programme this tues. 1 - Because I found myself actually putting up levels and adding more time on. So yeah pushing myself, thats good and 2-to start trying to run for the race for life. The first time I did this I walked it. This year I would like to be able to run some of it.

I thought I would share this.

This is part 1 of the weightloss journey. I want to get back into this dress. So I have taken it out the wardrobe and hung it on the door. It is the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing at night. I really want to be able to post a photo of me wearing that dress on here soon.

Outcasts

I really can't make my mind up about this offering for the BBC. Its about a group of human settlers on a planet called "Carpathia" in 2060. So intially my head was like . . . "Oooooo its going to be like Earth 2". Nadda. I watched the first episode and decided that it was pretty flat. The only character I liked was played by Jamie Bamber and then they killed him at the end.

Being the scifi geek that I am, I deemed to give it a second chance so viewed ep 2. Now this was slightly more intriguing. They introduced a group of people called AC's - cloned humans to you and me. They were created genetically superior to survive in the environment and banished when they got a virus. They thought that they were the cause.  It gave the show and certainly the "president" a slightly darker edge as he ordered their execution. Jamie Bambers character didn't carry it out and set them free to create their own life away from the settlement however they are pissed!!! I really don't feel that engrossed right now but never the less I continued to view and catch the end of ep 4 on tuesday before I watched Gypsies.

Finally I was starting to warm to a couple of characters. Cass - now torn between his love for Fleur his partner in effectively the Capathia police force and his duty to the boring president guy. Its hinting he has a bigger and darker past thats going to come out at some point. Fleur - despite bounching excellently off Cass banterwise. Your sat there just like, "will they, won't they" get together. Well shes quite dumb really. She smuggled a baby out of the settlement in a dufflebag. She seems willing to throw away her whole career on a moment notice all the time. Like this week. They had to bring in a rogue AC who attacked someone in the city. One second shes terrified of him and the next shes risking everything to sneak out, find the AC leader and help the man.

Thank god for the introduction of the sinister spiritual guy played by ugly betties Daniel. He's growing on me more and more. Hes taking them down from the inside, clearly has a game plan and I think he knows a lot more about whats going on.

I still cannot warm to Hermione Norris's character. Shes cold and boring. She spent the whole first ep pinning for her daughter coming on the transport from earth and as soon as she has her back and the lass is understandably pissed at her mother - she throws her out. Okay the kid leaked some info to a radio host just to piss her off but your a parent. You don't miss 15 years of her life and then banish her at the first sign of trouble. Geez. And whats the deal with her obsession with  the machine that can let them picture memories.

There has been hints of something weird going on from the moment the president guys photograph was spinning on his desk. In ep 4 he went beyond the city wall and started seeing his dead children, saying I know your not real but don't leave me yet. I have 2 theories for this hehe. Im not going to say ghosts. Supernatural - its too BSG. Been done before. So my theories are:

1. The president guy is suffering hallucinations from having that virus. Its not erradicated like they thought.
2. Its some weird psychological after effect from Hermione Norris's memories machine.

 The end of ep 4 however has got me gripped to see ep 5 now. They found a skeleton. A 10 thousand year old skeleton. Again its a tad BSG like but it blows open a whole load more new possibilites. Have humans lived there before or is it of something else. Yes please. Dump some aliens on us. It can only make the show better.

Gypsies and vampires

So it all came to an end last night and I have to say as far as channel 4 documentaries go, I really really enjoyed this one. Listening to the Jeremy Vine show yesterday it seems that the consensus for the gypsies themselves is not that happy about it. They feel they have been portrayed badly. Two gypsies were on the show debating it. One of them said that the grabbing thing doesn't go on in their culture.

Last nights focused on the wedding of a gyspy who had always been best friends with her cousin and another lass in Ireland who was very secretive to the point they upset the dressmaker at NICO but giving her the wrong date and letting her book travel and accomodation in Ireland. So she lost money.

It also showed the Appleby horse fair which was described as a Mecca for all travellors. The police presence last year was maniac and it finished on a peaceful protest by the gypsies down to the police station. The last programme served to highlight negative persecution of the culture.

So on to my new new new best programme. Being human. As usual I got into this two seasons behind everyone else. A werewolf, a ghost and a vampire all living together in a house. Its brilliantly written, just the right amount of action and humour. Some serious eye candy:

And you know its good if the US has remade it and naturally remade it badly. Can anyone say Red Dwarf LOL

A little something for all the singletons . . . . .

So that one day of the year is upon us again. Where everyone who is coupled up is showing their love and us ones who aren't get ignored and pretty much reminded that your not and made to feel miserable. Well not today!

Instead I share with you a poem that my wonderful friend Mr Simon Howes wrote for me over 10 years ago. He wrote this to cheer me up back in college one day. Its so beautful. If your feeling down and miserable about today I hope it cheers you up too.


"Look to the stars and see. Its with you, it smiles.
Celestrial bodies spinning  fast and true.
Have light and love and faith
For one star,
One star shines just for you."  Howes 1998

Gypsys again

Despite this culture being highly sexist and a rather strange mixture of old and new traditions, I really cannot get enough of this documentary series. 

Well it was all around the male gypsies last night and we saw a glimpse into the darker side of the culture. The guys don't believe in saying no. Thats a sign of weakness. So instead everything is settled by fighting. A fight can last 5 minutes to up to 2 hours. Only the men are allowed to watch. They do normally have somebody there who acts to make sure its fair but from the looks of what we did see, anything pretty much goes. They fight until one of them drops and acknowledges their defeat.This and lack of good healthcare also means that the average life expectancy amongst Gypsies is a shocking 50 years old.

Again there issue of money, where it comes from, how much things cost was kept quiet. Gypsies do not talk about what they pay and their haggling skills. We did however learn that they do haggle. We also learnt that they tend to have the same style when decorating and reffered to it as the "versace effect" - meaning things should be shiny and marble.

Finally to be asked to be a godfather is a huge honor. The chap last night had 70 godchildren. It showed him at a christening but refusing to push the baby in the pram as "You just don't see it, its not a mans role." He explained that other men would laugh at him.

There was another wedding, this time a lass who was 22 - quite old in gypsy terms and she had worked for 5 years as a hotel receptionist. So strangly she was used to being independent. She gave all that up to move 100 miles away in a cavaran and cook and clean all day. At the end of the programme I felt for her as she said in the cavaran, "This is where I spend most of the day. It's like a prison. I don't like it." Poor girl missed her parents dreadfully and advised other gypsy women not to get married at 16 and live a little before becoming a wife.

Fat girl slim 2

I actually got told I looked thinner today. Brilliant!!!!

Gyms getting better. I won't say easier yet, the treadmill session still kills me but I think I'm getting more confident. Hell I even managed to NOT hold onto the treadmill all the time when I was there last. And I didn't fall off. Anyone who knows me, knows I am accident prone as hell so thats a pretty major achievement on my part . . . . .

Today I signed up for the race for life in July with my mate. So I have offically 5 months or so to get fit and drop some weight.

If anyones feeling flush and fancies sponsoring this lass to get her fat arse round 5 K for charity - I will be running for my great uncle and friend Danny. Heres my fundraising page:

http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/debrarees2510
Been eating a lot of fish, veg and rice and trying to up my fruit and water.

I definitely need to work on the confidence thing though. And Im not just talking about having the courage to go to the gym. Today I was too scared to go wish someone the best incase I made an idiot of myself and embrassed them. Thats not healthy is it.

So I am now reading "feel the fear and do it anyway. How to turn your fear and indecision into confidence and action." By Susan Jeffers, 1987. Apparently it promises to learn you how to:

• how it can be impossible to make a mistake or a wrong decision - fascinating concept
• how to let go of negative programming
• how its impossible to be conned - hummmmmmmmmmmmm not sure on that one
• how to say "yes" to all circumstances in your life
• how to raise your level of self esteem
• how to be more assertive
• how to connect to the powerhouse within - okay so we need to turn the swirling mass of debs crazy into a powerhouse but I like the sound of it. Presuming thats possible . . 
• how to create more love, trust and satisfaction
• how to deal with resistance from significant others as you take more control in your life - could be interesting . . . . 
• how to experience more enjoyment
• how to make your dreams become a reality
• how to see yourself as having purpose and meaning

Sounds all good to me, so I will crack on with chapter one - What are you afraid of and . . . . . . . . . . why? tonight.

That aside - how good was Glee last night. Again two of my favourite things, Mr Schue half naked - hubba hubba hubba.

And rocky horror. Kurts riff raff was just brilliant. Mercedes rendition of sweet transvestite was amazing and Emma what the hell are you doing. Dump the dentist girl!!!!!!!

Oz, Gypsies 3 and more turning japanese

Big fat gypsy weddings just gets better and better. As steve said - my hairdressers chap who came with her last week when Kate cut my hair - it is essential viewing. This week it focused more on the female roles of gypsy life and to be honest in my head it looked pretty grim but in my sociological hat, you have to remember and respect this is their culture and way of life. Everything is normal to them.

As mentioned earlier the gender roles are pretty defined. Women have 2 important events in their life - their first communion and their wedding. Life is completely geared around getting married. They tend to be taken out of school around 11/12ish and from what the programme is telling us do nothing but clean, wait on their husband hand and foot and look after children afterwards. One gypsy was saying that they couldn't go anywhere without the husbands permission - even the shop for milk.

This weeks followed two more weddings. One lass was 18, which apparently is pretty old for a gypsy bride. It showed her sister who was 11 I think crying at the wedding as she realised her life now was cleaning and running around after her family as her big sister now  had her own husband and caravan. My heart felt for her. They don't have the opportunities we take for granted. Like the chance to go to university, day trips out, normal things like that.

There were more amazingly large dresses and this week a lady upped the anty with the biggest cake I have ever seen in my life.

This weeks documentary is going to be from the male gypsys point of view. It showed a preview of bare knuckle fighting.

I really wasn't as impressed with part two of JLC turning Japanese though. I really enjoyed last weeks as it showed us several really bizarre things. This week it all centred around JLC pairing up with a japanese comedian and them doing a duo show in japan. Oh and there was a freaky monkey in a cafe type thing too. It needed more stuff. More culture, more weird stuff, more umpth to keep up with the momentum from last week! I'll keep my fingers crossed that the final part has that.

If anyone is interested you can currently see the first episode here:
http://www.five.tv/shows/justin-lee-collins-turning-japanese/episodes/episode-1-293

Finally I would just like to offer my prayers and love to all the Ozzies who have experienced the floods and typhon. I have family in both Brisbane and Cairns so it was pretty scary and worrying for a bit this week. Luckily we have now had a communication from my Aunt and everyone is okay. My cousins house by the sounds of it got battered up quite abit and her cane farm has been damaged. Thats lucky I suppose . . . . .  it could have been a lot worse. My Aunt told me that harbours have boats smashed up together, some houses have no ammenties, the army is on the way out with food and water. In Tully they have had 90% of shops damaged. Its going to take a long time for them to recover and get back on their feet. Much love to everyone, you are in our thoughts.

Bonkers about Bangers . . . . .

Come on. Who here loves a good sausage?

Admit it you do.

And your also chuckling reading this because for a few moments in the far reaches of your minds you were thinking I was being a little rude. Well on this occasion . . . . . . . . . Im sorry to disappoint - I am "of course" refering to the other Bratwursts.

Bex bless her, introduced us to the world of sausage appreciation this week. It seems Huddersfield has a sausage club. Many huddersfieldirians it seems love a good sausage to neccesitate a sausage club. And not only that, its invitation only. Must be good . . . . . . . . . How does one get an invite?

I'll hold my hand up, I really didn't set out to blog about sausages today but it just fell into place earlier at work. I love friday afternoons at work as it normally encompasses many a bizarre conversation. Plus today we were pretty sugared up, having made and eaten buns for charity. Im happy to report we raised £30 and put it with a further £40. Not bad going. Im unhappy to report that fat girl slim was pretty much KO'd today.

Anyway . . . . .Back to the bangers . . . . .I'm dedicating todays blog to Bex and I just can't resist as there are just toooooooooooo many funny google images with sausages. Heres a few:

For those of you who were secretly hoping I would post something kind of rude . . . . .

Even Trek's in on the action LMAO ...........................................

Which leads us to an almost Comdey Dave like tedious link. A certain person shocked me today never having had the pleasure of experiencing Shatners singing.

I have got to rectify that!



And heres something even more trippy



My work here is done. Peace out!

Rikers beard

The opposite of jump the shark, i.e. when a TV show goes from unspectacular/boring/outlandish to completely awesome. It references Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was unspectacular until season 2, when Commander Riker grew a beard. The show kicked ass from then on.

Not only that though, Commander William T Riker is one sexy man. I met Jonathan Frakes once and well the picture says it all . . . . .

Yes . . . . . . every Riker fantasy possible is going through my head there. I couldn't even open my eyes. LOL

Anyway I have lost 1 bet - I bet Steve in my office he couldn't grow a Riker beard. He did and now I have to buy him a large pizza.

Not a good start to 2011 losing a bet. I honestly thought he would get bored over xmas or the beard would bug him so much he would shave it off but no the man will do anything where pizza is involved.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo close to winning another bet. Over 2 years ago I videoed some of my cousins wedding and my sisters boyfriend was hamming it up big style so I created and shared on Youtube this little ditty . . . .



I was bet by someone - now I still have to suss out who - it was 2 and half years ago, but someone bet me a tenner I think I could not get 200 views of this video on youtube. I am at 197. I need 3 more people to view this!!!!!! So if anyone is reading this please please please please click and watch that link. I could use a spare tenner :0)